The Queen of Returns ... Strikes Again.

Sunday 29 March 2015


Every year at the beginning of the new season, I go a bit mad. I get a bit giddy kipper over all the lovely new things coming in to the shops and online and lots of things make it home with yours truly. Then a week or three later ... they leave. Usually after I've woken up, smelt the coffee, tried them on at home and done a fashion twirl or three in the mirror. Then I think, what on earth was I thinking and bag everything up and return to my sweatshirts and jeans. Want to know what some of the items were which came and went? I'll tell you about ten of them ... I can't remember the rest (there's been a lot).


Exhibit 1. 



So, it pains me to say this ... incase any of you take on board my views ... but I didn't keep the New Look strappy lace up sandals. I really did like them at the time I blogged them and I even went so far as to bring a pair of the black ones home with me too after that. Then I dug out the pair of sandals I got at Christmas which I've been saving for the summer and the love I had for the two pairs of New Look ones disappeared. Just like that. They were also very flat when I compared them to my existing sandals and I know from past experience I have a couple of very thin soled sandals which I don't wear often as they are just not that comfortable. So back they went. However, I do have to say that the leather is very soft and is therefore very accommodating of those like me with fat feet.


Exhibit 2. 



Ahh! The must have folk top from Next this season. I ordered a size 8 (one size down) as it looked like the kind of thing that had the potential to swamp me and guess what? It swamped me! I received the ivory version first as the navy was on a delay. After trying the ivory, I cancelled the navy. It might have been better in a size 6 but I am over the tassels now and besides, the worry of washing it and wondering how my tassels would come out was too much for me. Let's move on.


Exhibit 3. 




I really really like this. A stripy oversized shirt. I wanted a change from my usual blue shirts and I thought stripes would be the way to go. I still genuinely love it but alas the length of it does not love me - it is stonkingly long on me. I look like I'm wearing a nightshirt and I did think at the worst, I could keep it as a night shirt but to be honest I'm a Pj bots kind of girl. But I still keep trying it on when I see it and guess what? It still looks like a nightshirt on me #walkonby


Exhibit 4.



During a moment of madness when I was in Next looking for a birthday present for my MIL, I came across these kitty slipper shoes in the children's section and tried them on and bought them. Next day I returned them. To give them their dues, they were very comfortable. And I haven't totally lost my marbles - I've got a secret soft spot for the Charlotte Olympia Kitty slippers which are totally out of my price range. However, these Marc Jacobs flats might be my next moment of madness purchase ;o) as they look a bit badass kitty.


Exhibit 5.

Next Dungarees


Yup, I tried dungarees. I put them on. I had a good laugh. I packed them up and returned them. To be honest, I did order them partly out of curiosity and to see whether I could rock this. Err ... not these ones anyway. These were a particularly bad fit on me as I seemed to be able to stuff two bolster cushions down each side of them as well. I have now decided to shelve the whole dungaree idea but true to my nature ... can I put a disclaimer here should I find that ever elusive super comfortable and super flattering pair?


Exhibit 6.



Flares. Oh lovely flares. I really thought I was going the whole flares route this summer but I am now having a rethink. I have a pair of ASOS mini kick flares which are okay but I don't think they are the real deal. Then I managed to nab a pair of the M&S flares which were flying off the internet as fast as you like. They were a lovely fit apart from the six inches or so extra at the bottom. Can I be bothered to do a hem job on them? No. So back they went. But I have to say, they really do have a lovely high waist, they hold all your bits in and they are one of the more flattering pairs I've tried on ... they actually beat the MiH Marrakesh which I ordered one morning at 3am when I couldn't sleep and I was obviously in never never land. #Wendy


Exhibit 7.



Yes, I really did order a culottes playsuit thingy. I just felt like it! And strangely enough, it wasn't as horrific as I thought it could be. It's quite thin (my bum! my bum! my eyes! my eyes!) and it's a touch long and a bit low on the old cleavage front and though it doesn't sound like it has a lot going for it, it did somehow sow the seed that this might be something I want to investigate further. And because I also knew I would feel a little too "exposed" with such a skimpy top half and then I didn't want to bung on a cardi and kill the whole look, I think a sleeved version might be the way to go. See! I have given this considerable thought! So this one is going but another might come in its place yet.


Exhibit 8.




Boden seem to be in the habit of knocking out a pair of must have shoes each season. The current ones are the Lille lace up strappy pumps. I ordered the navy and the service was quick and the shoes arrived and I was a little non plussed by them to be honest. I think they are certainly a statement shoe and they look lovely on so many other people but I didn't love them on me. And they were a little uncomfortable on the ankles. And then I started to get nit picky (which is good as it makes me return things rather than live with them and niggle me to death) but I didn't like the way the laces were stitched. But that's because I was comparing them to the designer versions out there and the precision stitching on their laces and that was being unfair. So back they went too.


Exhibit 9.




I decided to send back the M&S flares and put my money towards a pair of Levis 501 CT jeans - the new cut and tapered version. They looked a little rubbish on me and I actually looked better and felt more comfortable in my old Zara jeans. Well money saved is money saved. There was a part of me that said, it would have been nice to have a pair of Levis in my life again (the last time round was Nick Kamen era) and I liked the fact that these would be more tapered so hopefully more flattering than regular fit Levis 501s. And maybe I chose the wrong finish for me or the wrong size - I sized down two sizes (going by the fit that I was after) but they did nothing for me. The thing to remember is, everybody suits different things and I'm not saying these were bad - they just didn't work for me.


Exhibit 10.


All from ASOS - I love ASOS Premier!


Errr ... these are just some of the denim pieces that have flitted in and out of Maison So So in the last few months. Let's face it, I live in jeans so of course I would naturally investigate the options out there. From left to right - yes, that first pair are are a pair of cropped wide jeans. They did nothing for me but I loved the silhouette on the model. The next pair are the parallel straight leg jeans which were plain weird on. The denim midi dress was too long but if I'd been 5ft 4, I would have kept it - it was really nice. Then came the flares - the skinny MiH Marrakesh and the regular MiH Marrakesh were both too long and too much of a bother to alter. The fit was okay but not enough to make me do a whoop de whoop. Basically you don't know till you've tried and I tried and I tried.

Errrr and there were also ten thousand pairs of boots and shoes from Next from their clearance section. I couldn't find all the pics but let's put it this way, there was a pair of over the knee boots in there which I ordered when I wasn't right of mind (probably after I'd been deprived of wi-fi for a week in Wales).

So that's it. Surprisingly, I did have some successes. Yes I did! But that's another post for another day methinks.

So, have you all fared much better than me? Or are you a challenger for my Queen of Returns title?






46 comments

  1. You're in good company! Just this month my returns list goes like this:

    1. Asos cream longline blazer (looked like a doctor's coat on me, also I hang out with a toddler all day)
    2. Mango striped fur jacket-too big, made me look apeish
    3. Mango navy shirtdress-too small, exposed my bum when i raised my arms, plus i have one too many navy dresses
    4. Mango sweater-never made it out of the bag, oatmeal color was that lovely
    5. Zara waterfall cardigan-too long and frankly not my style
    6. Zara faux-leather leggings-too big and the light taupe color wouldn't flatter anyone but a model
    7. Zara faux-leather skirt-too big (they're sizes are all messed up!!)
    8. Zara leather shorts-cute but slightly too big and somewhat too trendy for my real life
    9. J crew tee-too clingy

    But don't worry, your title is safe as long as I have no access to free returns from the like of Asos, Boden, Topshop and other UK based stores. Believe me, I'd love to join the club!

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    1. Wait, I forgot there's a last one:

      10. Gray wedge sneakers from Bata-I hated the embellishments

      There, much better!

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    2. Oh you're good! I think you're a strong contender for the title actually. But yes, some things do arrive and you think "what???" like you did with the Mango jumper which didn't make it out of the bag. But I do find that if the returns policy is that little more difficult than I am a little more reluctant to order from the stores. I can't rate Zara highly enough for their ordering, delivery and returns. The funds even arrive back in your account within a couple of hours sometimes! You don't have free delivery and returns from Asos where you are then?

      And there were more things that I haven't included in that list ... I could have gone on forever but you get the gist!

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  2. I LOVE this blog post, love love love it as it make me feel like I am so not the only one that does this! Some people can't be bothered with all the returns faff, but like you, I get all excited and can't say no but when the dust settles I realise I don't 'really need it' and was just a little over excited! In my head, I'd rather buy and return then regret and not find again. I've given myself a really tight budget at the moment, per month. It actually worked last month (as in March) as I bought two really great items I've worn tons and it made me think about what I really wanted - as one item I couldn't return unless travelling back to London. I do feel like a big order coming on soon though - maybe Zara, I don't like to feel like I'm missing out!!!! X

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    1. No, you're not the only one. Since becoming a SAHM, the budget is more restricted so the choices have to work better for me and my lifestyle. Much as I love heels to look at, I certainly have no use for them these days during the day and I much prefer to spend on a pair of good flats which will work much harder for me. And yes, I get lured in by the thrill of the new and more often than not like you say, when the dust settles, everything is not so shiny in the cold light of review!

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  3. Thank you for this post! I have returns every month. I fall in love with something, buy it and a few days later I don't like it anymore. So annoying.

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    1. I don't know if it's the mirrors in the shops, flattering lighting or my mental state (shouldn't shop when hungry) but I do fall in love with stuff so easily and by the time I get home, I'm totally out of love. But thank goodness for return policies. I don't shop in Hong Kong for that reason - they are a lot stricter and some places don't even let you try on. If it doesn't fit - tough.

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  4. Mad, mad, mad woman! but you know what there is nothing like trying things on at home - waiting a couple of days or even weeks and then realizing that that item WAS something you can live without!

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    1. I think I am definitely one of those women who needs that cool down period. But quite often, the reality is quite different when you get home - the sandals which you have in mind for an outfit don't work and then they don't work with anything else though they look good on the feet. That happens to me a lot. But yep - there have been things I can live without - I did without new black boots last weekend and I hardly touched the boots apart from the Next gaucho style ones I have and the Sorels. That's all I needed.

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  5. You are not alone Sue, I am a serial returner too, though this month has been a good month as I've only taken back 3 things, it is normally a lot more. I get whipped up in the excitement of getting new clothes/shoes but in the cold light of day, remember that I already have a nicer version already which I am likely to still keep reaching for! I find that if I'm not really 100% sure about an item I don't put it in my wardrobe, I either hang it up on the wardrobe door or it stays in the bag the bedroom floor. If it hasn't been worn or made it into the wardrobe within a couple of days then I obviously just don't love it enough and back it goes! Great idea to *fess* up your returns though, I may have to try this kind of blog post! xx

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    1. I forgot - there was a big Uniqlo return too. They had a collaboration and had some hoodies in - I never wear hoodies! The only hoodie I had, I cut the hood off! I find that I'm sticking to keeping core basics and the odd fun/statement piece that makes me smile. That works for me best. And yes, I never take the labels off but I am different to you in that I don't like wearing pieces straightaway. The more expensive they are, the less likely I am to wear them and the more I like something, the more likely I am to save it. (Shakes head in despair).

      And yes - would love to see your returns post!

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  6. You are hilarious! But I think if I had free delivery & returns it's quite likely that I'd be as bad. Having to pay for nearly all deliveries and returns to Dublin, makes me think twice about ordering. But at almost 5ft 4, I'm thinking that I may have to investigate that Asos denim midi dress. Me likey a LOT!

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    1. The ASOS denim midi dress is long gone. It was in their sale a while back and I ordered three of them in the same size to make sure I got the right one and at the end of it, it still wasn't right as it was just too long. Basically, you can have the same dress in the same size and they are all finished a little differently and one is tighter, one is looser, one is a bit off in the finish. I like to get it right! But maybe I should go and live in Dublin - that would stop the online shopping!

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  7. You are hilarious! However, your returns question my judgement now, Lille flats worn (so can not return) yes in agreement with you, they are not Aquazzura, but they are far superior to the New Look ones I got and I am in love with the fact I have stylish navy shoes. The next tassel top hangs in my wardrobe, ordered a size down like you ...... I just like the boho feel, so there it hangs ........ I think it will stay .... Holidays, denim shirts, straw bag ...... That is my vision. I wish you had taken photos of the dunagress, the bolster cushions made me chuckle..... :)

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    1. I was a little worried about mentioning the Lille flats as I know they have been a big hit with many ladies but the only real niggle for me was the laces but I found myself looking at the closeups of the stitching on the Aquazzura pumps and like I said, that was a little unfair. They are commanding much much higher prices so the finish should be there. The fact that they weren't comfortable on my ankles doesn't mean they aren't comfortable for other ladies ankles. And to be honest, I tried the New Look ones on and they were comfortable on me - I was quite impressed with them for the price. I actually found it easier to live with the fact that the laces on many of the cheaper lace up shoes are just shoe laces - but at least they are all uniform. Weird I know.

      And I think the navy folk top is lovely - it just swamped me in the size down so I think I needed to go down a size again as it swung just a little too much on me - I had the same thing with the Kate Moss boho top that I bought last year, there was just too much fabric for someone my height.

      And the dungarees only made it out of the bag for 5 mins - the time it took me to wrestle them on and then wrestle them off.

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  8. I think I'm also doing pretty well on the returns front, one of my New Years resolutions was to only keep something if it really loved me and I really loved it! I was looking forward to the Boden lace navy shoes, but I agree with you, they're not for me, unfortunately neither were the Next ones, I shall keep looking!

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    1. That's a good rule but fashion is funny - sometimes the fashionable things you like are not always the most flattering. I always think there is a trade off between flattering and fattering.

      And I didn't try the Next ones - I just don't think they would work on my feet at all - there isn't enough coverage at the sides for me and if they are flat, my feet look fatter. True!

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  9. i recently returned something from the outnet clearance! yes late night impulse shopping and bad size decisions. i wish returns were easier in australia - most of the time i shop in UK/US sites and only a small handful have free returns...

    steph / absolutely-fuzzy.com

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    1. I haven't actually bought much from the Outnet so don't really know what their returns policies are like. Are they difficult? But I do get a little confused with all the continental sizing on some of the ranges and so I don't order. If I know roughly what I am in a store, I always think I have a much higher rate of success. Funny how that logic doesn't really work out in real life!

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  10. Haha, excellent post :) I'll be returning a sweatshirt and possibly a pair of black cropped pants from H&M, just because I changed my mind about them.

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    1. I find myself returning things because they are repeats of what I already have - how many grey jumpers can a girl have? Quite a lot actually if you go through my wardrobe :)

      I know you're a little more mindful of how you shop and what stays in your wardrobe - I need to do a sort of mine to make the most of what I have.

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  11. I love your honesty Sue! I return a lot too, I love buying new things (who doesn't??) but then I turn into a bit of a procrastinator & um & ah over what I've bought & whether I'll actually wear them. I bought the Boden Lille's & they didn't work for me either (although I loved them to look at...so pretty!). Also, shops make it so easy to return things theses days that it would be rude not to, right?! x

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    1. It's like an annual confession that I make and it absolves me from all my shopping crimes. And yes, the Boden Lilles are such a pretty shoe - which is why I bought them! And I'm afraid I like to exercise the returns policies fully - but I find that if they have good returns policies, I am more likely to shop with them and somewhere along the way, I actually keep something!

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  12. I'm so happy to see this post, as it just confirms to me that I am quite normal! I'm so susceptible to whatever the latest must-have item is, and there seems to be a constant stream of parcels winging their way back and forth between me and various retailers! That ASOS Premier is deadly, isn't it?

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    1. You are so very normal - just like me. And half the rest of the female shopping population it would appear. My ASOS Premier runs out next week ... I shall be renewing!

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  13. Well butter my buns I thought I was bad but you win. :0) xxx (I wish I had kept the photo of me in the Next peasant top. We could have had a bit of competitive awfulness with that one)

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    1. It wasn't horrendous, it just wasn't the most flattering thing I could wear. I also felt I needed to be a bit taller to take that much volume in the top. So you're saying, you're better behaved than me in the returns department then?

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    2. I am sending back way more than I keep. I think we are,probably, on a par. xx

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  14. Much better to return stuff you don't want than keep it and never wear it. Fussy is good! I return much more than I keep, definitely. Sometimes trying on at home makes you really assess if you want it. Doesn't help that there's a post office/collect+ next to the children's school!

    Sometimes in a mass order I'm surprised which items I keep and those I don't. Often more to do with fit than anything.

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    1. Absolutely. And I'm glad to hear you are fussy about things too. I know some people who would rather keep things rather than go through the rigmarole of having to return something cheap to the shops but I really don't want anything I don't like cluttering up any more space. And what a bonus - a Collect + next to the school - I have to schlep to the next village but at least it's not that far. It's worth it considering how many things I drop off there.

      And I think the fit of an item accounts for a huge amount. As I'm small, I have to be careful of waistlines which sit in the wrong place and I always have my sleeves altered so my clothes don't look like they drown me - or at the very least, I shrug them up. Everything looks so much better as soon as you do that.

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  15. Ha! hilarious - and I have most of the items you sent back!! I'm similar in that I love things for the 'moment' and then just go off things, I'm so fickle...but I'm using Tictail more to sell my old wares (especially when I've worn things a couple of times and too late to refund, it's upcycling which means money for me and someone else gets a bit of a bargain.

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    1. Alex, you are much taller than me and I can see how the folk top (I'm assuming you picked this up) actually works for you. I felt there was just too much top for me. I need to get on top of my ebaying - I should use Tictail really but I like the anonymity of Ebay. It's on my list of things to do! Then I can shop and return more things!

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  16. Fabulous post I - sadly - can totally relate to! I am extremely picky and return over 90% of my purchases. I also sometimes buy things I know, for various reasons (mainly because I already have a variation or two of the same item!) even before pressing the button I will be returning, which is something I definitely need to stop doing.
    Won't bother you with the details, but in summary in the past couple of months I made and returned small and large orders from Uniqlo, Cos, & Other Stories, Brora, Gap, Zara, White Company, H&M and M&S. What did I keep? Merino jumper and sweatshirt from & Other Stories, boxy cotton shirt from Cos, relaxed trousers from White Company and leather flip flops from Gap.

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    1. Ahhh - I love you. I feel so much better now - I think I return about 85% of my purchases so I can officially hand over my title of Queen of Returns. And I confess ... sometimes I buy something even though I am unsure and feel like I'm unlikely to keep but hey it's better to find out that you really didn't want it isn't it? And at least, you must be pretty happy with what you do actually have?

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  17. I send a lot of stuff back too, it drives my O/H mad!!! I've got the flares and the CT's. And I'm very tempted to buy that H&M shirt now I've seen that! I'm not liking that next folk top at all, and everyone seems to have it.

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    1. If I remember correctly, you're quite tall - the H&M shirt will be fine on you and look how it should. Its a nice weight cotton and the one I picked up looked well made. I really wish I could have carried it off!

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    2. Good memory :0) yeah I'm quite tall. I might give it a go, I really like it, thanks.

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  18. Wow that is quite a list Sue, but I must admit I am the same sometimes it is all about the chase for me, if I can't have something it is out of stock etc then I want it even more and when I finally get it I realise I don't need it! Love the fact you gave the Dungers a try! Russ came into our bedroom last night and said it looks like a warehouse in here with all the things I have bought and need to take back, so you are not alone!! Xx

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    1. Do you know something - everything you just wrote - I totally identify with. Including the bedroom warehouse. It's bad isn't it?

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  19. Oh Sue, I loved this post - you're hilarious! I think I've moved to a different place in the past few months where I fill a basket and then talk myself out of it before I press 'order'. Seeing everyone else in the 'must-have' shoes or jeans is off-putting so I'm just not ordering and it turns out I'm just as happy, with plenty to wear and without the 3 times weekly return journey instore/post office. Does this mean I have to stop blogging now?!! Xx

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    1. It's actually really good if you can take a step back. Sometimes I let myself go with the flow but when I get the items I then think I don't want exactly what everyone else is having. But it's kind of strange - I think it's only the blogging community who have all these things - I never see anyone around me wearing recommended on the blogs when I'm out and about.

      And no - you're not allowed to stop blogging. If you do, I'll take it as the sign to hang up as well.

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  20. Oh I love reading about your returns and the reasons behind them. Fantastic post, Sue! Lynne xx

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    1. I enjoy seeing people wear new purchases but I really am more interested in what inspired the purchases and whether they work for them and if not, why not.

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  21. You are the Queen of Returns Sue & good on you! Its good that you buy & try so you get to scratch the itch & save your pennies when things just aren't right! I return more these days as I've become more of a savvy shopper but I do cringe when some shops make you fill in the returns receipt! I feel like a big red flashing light & alarm are going to sound when I return to certain shops! x

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  22. Nooooo *rushes off to buy returned gold New Look shoes*! Loved those :-( Will let you off though because you have been wearing dresses this week xxx

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Susie So So