.... or rather I can't find a decent pair of black jeans any where that are skinny but not too skinny, black but not too black, not too high rise but not too low either AND don't make my legs look carroty should I choose to wear them full length. Or give me the dreaded camel toe. Not asking for much am I?

I have my Topshop off black Jamie jeans seen here. Lovely colour and getting better with each wash and tumble dry. Fading beautifully and perfect length for me though ankle grazers for every one else. For once, being a shortie had it's merits but they are very stretchy and very shape revealing .... and they make my belly look huge which means they are only good when wearing long tops and big jumpers. They are good for tucking in to ankle boots however as they taper right in to the ankle. Bad with any other footwear on me as they give me carrot legs or parsnip legs as they call them on Mumsnet ... whichever vegetable floats your boat but  you get the gist.

I have some old black New Look jeggings seen here with the tightest waistband ever. I can forget eating in those - a cup of Earl Grey and a biscuit is about as much as I can stomach and then it starts to hurt. But they have their uses some times and they tuck well in to boots too. They fall in to the vegetable jean category too. Both the Jamie and the New Look jeans also have that annoying habit of slowly working their way down so the crotch ends up mid thigh. There's a lot of inelegant hoicking going on with these two pairs. 

And then I have my H&M distressed jeans which I picked up for £12. They are the perfect faded grey but with a touch too much distressing. The frayed knee wasn't too bad till I kept kneeling in them and the fraying eventually tore in to a bigger and bigger rip. The rip is now a pothole and quite cold.



There is also another hole near the left hand pocket at the front which the lining keeps poking through.



Very very annoying. In fact these would be my perfect jeans because of the fit except for the holes. I can even wear them with shoes and not feel too carrotty. These are so close to perfect - I could cry :o(

So I went on a mad search recently and tried on black jeans after black jeans after black jeans. But alas no luck. And so I decided to do something about my holey H&M jeans. I decided to patch them up. With iron on patches. My inspiration gleaned from the the patchwork jeans currently making their rounds on various blogs.

• Before anyone says anything, I've looked in H&M, Zara, M&S, Topshop, New Look and also had the Mint Velvet zip biker jeans and the M&S version too. The Mint Velvet and the M&S version were ruled out as the rise was a little too high and I sometimes like to wear a belt and have that showing. Oh go on I admit it, I sometimes like to do a fashion tuck. So any other recommendations anyone? Which won't break the bank?

• Helpful hint. If anybody fancies doing their own patchwork jeans for fun or any other reason using iron on patches - remember to round off the corners as this helps prevent the corner catching and working loose. I learnt that from all the iron on name labels I did on George's school uniform :o)

Source

Rollnecks or are they polo necks? I get a little confused because different people have different names for them but for the purpose of this post, I will call it a rollneck. You have to roll the neck down so a rollneck it is then. 

Anyway, I've had a hankering for a rollneck for some time now.  I had the perfect one years back but it's long gone. The fact that I've been thinking about them now is probably a sign that I'm getting on a bit as I've always thought rollnecks were worn by the older generation or the golfing fraternity but just recently those Landsend catalogues have been looking a whole lot more interesting and appealing ;o)  Anyway, I wanted a navy one and I didn't want it too tight round the neck and I didn't want it tight on the body either. It needed to be a "relaxed" fit. A lot like the one above actually. By the way, doesn't the blonde model look striking with the black jumper? Much more so than someone with darker hair. When I think of black dresses and black tops, I always think they go well on blondes - very Hitchcock heroine don't you think?

I digress. Anyway, my first port of call - Marks & Sparks. I took a cashmere one and a lambswool one in to the changing rooms. The tightwad in me said, get the lambswool as this will be a one week wonder when I realise I don't really like rollnecks and they make me look all kind of Moonface. And yep, true to form the lambswool was too itchy and tight round the neck and I did look all kind of Moonface. The cashmere one was fractionally better (less itchy) but still tight around the neck. I left them both.

Next stop - Woolovers. I've read good reviews about them for basic knitwear so I thought I'd try. I ordered their unisex navy lambswool rollneck. Perfect fit and the neck was much better but still itchy.  I knew the lambswool was going to be itchy so I don't know what possessed me to order it. For your information, I ordered the size small but I think anyone who is long of torso and long of arm might struggle with it. The M&S ones are fractionally longer in the body but I did size up to a 12 (I normally take a 10) to get the relaxed fit I wanted.

Anyway, during this half term, I managed to get to a John Lewis and I tried on their cashmere rollnecks. I took in a navy one and a grey one and bought a .... black one. Like you do. I suddenly decided I needed a black one because I have it in my head that I want to wear it like this on a night out ...


Sorry - some of you are going to feel a bit cheated on the black and lacy bit I promised you but hey, I give you black rollneck here and some lacy trim on my skirt - I delivered! The skirt is actually an old Press & Bastyan dress circa 2001 with the rollneck worn over it. This is my nod to the lace trend floating around currently without the need to spend any money. The Grumps even got a little excited at seeing me in the dress and exclaimed "I bought you that!" which is true but what was even more amazing was the fact that he actually remembered it. Most of my clothes are by the by for him - this dress he remembers. In the old(!!!) days, I might have worn a wrap or put a little cardigan with it but I'm no longer comfortable wearing the dress like this - the less I have on show, the better I feel. The jumper also covers up the bagel belly a treat and does a good job of keeping me warm. I hate sitting in arctic air conned restaurants freezing my assets off.  Goose pimples and chattering teeth are overrated.

And the details schmetails? The lace actually has a touch of black in it which might not be evident from the above picture but can you see now? Hence the pairing with the black jumper and shoes.



Actually if you look at the silhouette, I could imagine a modern day Tippi wearing this.

Or I might choose to keep it simple for a mum's night out like this.



The leopard heels are M&S which were ordered during their 20% off shoes promotion. Trying to find a pair of leopard heels is a bit like trying to find rollnecks - there is a pair out there for you. You've just got to keep trying till you find the right pair and you have the added problem of finding pairs where the spots are not too dissimilar on both the left and right shoes. For your information - I actually ordered two pairs so I could match up the best pair together - a tip I picked up from a reader's comment (thank you Deadlysims). I'm not sure these are the right ones yet but they are being "assessed". I tried a pair on in Dune whilst out shopping with the Grumps and I was quite amused when he said "there's too much toe cleavage on them". Seriously, he's picking up and learning such a lot from reading my blog. Girls take note to start making your Christmas wishlists on your blogs now!

And for the daytime, we can go extra casjjjj ...


... with chinos and cheetah pumps which I am actually getting quite a lot of wear out of. I guess this is a laid back as it gets. Any more laid back and I would be horizontal. Someone said to me recently I was the most chilled out person they know. Really? Funny how people perceive you. Hmm.

Basically there are so many ways to wear a black roll neck - or if you can't do a roll neck, stick with a classic crew. To be honest, I didn't think I  would find a roll neck that I would feel comfortable wearing but find one I did. But trust it to have to be cashmere to reduce the itch factor! I wonder if the Grumps will remember he bought me it whenever I wear it. Somehow, I don't think so.

• What do you think of rollnecks then? Stylish or fuddy duddy? 

I took a little break from Blogsville over the last week and I have to say - I enjoyed it. I enjoyed being a reader instead of a blogger. It takes less effort and besides I had nothing to say and kids to entertain - it was half term after all. But the problem with taking a break is you can get really used to it and if you don't put fingers to the keyboard again ... you might never blog again. So here I am tap tap tapping.

Anyway, this is me in my Sunday finery. All seen before and nothing new to report. And yes those are my Uggy slippers you see before you. I am at home after all. Do you honestly walk around in a pair of heeled boots around the house?

Anyway, that was me checking in and I will be back this coming week with hopefully something more exciting than a pair of slippers. Maybe something a little black and lacey? Ooh err!

A white sweatshirt. How criminally impractical. But I love it. I can't go near children in it. What a shame.  :o)

Some of you are dying to stick a scarf on it. Some of you are dying to stick a statement necklace on it. I am dying to do none of that. 

I am just going to keep it seriously simple.

I did also try it not so simple :

Just to prove that I have legs. And that I sometimes wear bottoms which aren't jeans. And just to try something different :o)

--------------------------

Last Note :

There are a few blogs which directly influence my wardrobe. One of them is Marlene's. She says what's floating her boat and I go "yeah". I am a sheep. Baaa.

And not only am I a sheep, I am a cheap sheep at that. Baaa.

She featured these See by Chloe boots a few times in her montages.

Love them. Only £350 for ownership privileges. Hmmm. Guess I'll be taking my usual walk on the cheap side. 

These are the Medwinds Cavallet boot. The similarities are not lost on me :o)

Medwinds Cavallet Boots

I was having a browse on the Instyle website a couple of months back and they were doing a feature on boots. The Medwinds featured on them and I thought "Hmmm ... nice". And then forgot about them as I played a game of chicken on Ebay over a pair of Allsaints boots which I should have purchased during the summer sale. Needless to say, I didn't win them. Needless to say, I won't have learnt my lesson. Needless to say I'll probably do it again. Pah!

The Medwinds boots that I forgot about were chanced upon once again when I was browsing through Yoox and I thought -"Hmm ... those look alright!" and then I realised they were the boots I had seen previously. The Boot Gods work in mysterious ways you know! The heel height is perfect for everyday stomping and the toe is a lovely almond shape - I can't do with overly pointy and I can't do with too rounded. They have to be the perfect shape to elongate your feet which has a knock on lengthening effect on your legs. Oh yes, they also come up higher than your average ankle boot - good for balancing out carrot legs. They are also a nice soft smooth leather and something which you don't often get, they are leather lined. But bestest, best of all, you don't even need to fiddle with the buckles to put them on. Big yay from all us lazy moos out there.




I did actually buy some M&S ones before I got the Medwinds but then wised up over what wasn't floating my boat with the M&S ones. They were basically too high for an every day boot though they made my legs look good which in the past would have been reason enough to keep them. This enlightenment coincided with this insightful post from Kali which explains what she considers when she purchases something. Her example of what made her perfect boots echoed my requirements almost exactly.  I found myself nodding like that dog from Churchill.

And to prove a case in point. I used to have a lovely pair of Belstaff heeled boots. It took me ages to take the plunge to purchase them as they weren't cheap but I eventually gave in to the call. I wore them probably a handful of times in the 7 years or so I had them. I finally let them go to a new owner who compensated me enough to buy my Medwinds and a few other bits.

God love Ebay.